Too many words

Insights: Heart racing thoughts.

My heart's beating so fast right now, i don't even know if i'm like excited or troubled. Damn.

There's so much i wanna say, but have yet to find a neutral party to bombard with all my thoughts and shit.

Its a friday night. How much i wished i was out there at a happening place ( meaning some where fun. ) But, a girl has gotta do what a GOOD girl gotta do. At least in my case. So, I had yesterday and today being a good girl, trying to be home early and just.. aiya. Just be good lah. You get the picture. No late nights. No booze. Nothing. And you could add, no fun as well. Well, the only good thing was spending a leisure day slacking away with bx at his place on thursday, which is rare now a days. It meant rest and rest and more rest. We kinda got back all the sleep we needed.

It was pretty much drama this week. Not as in a happy, exciting week. Its a bad one. There's just so much to clear up with people involved. And i'm not a teeny weeny bit happy bout it. Some times i feel lost. But how can i even be lost when i'm choosing to do all the shit that brings about the big hoo haa and seeing many unhappy faces? I think i'm just damn fake. Oh well. Being the playful me, its just in a matter of time that i learn my lesson. I know it. I'm scared, i retreat a lil... and you'll see me back there in no time again. Oh Gosh. I'm saying so much crap, i think only myself wouldunderstand what i'm saying. Coz maybe i'm the only person going through this time being infused with mixed feelings? Yeah. I think so. * sigh * Its okay world. Just skip this chapter:)

Okie dokie. On with other stuff. I'm spending tooooooo much! Way spending toooooo much. This is crap. I gotta save if not i'll be broke again. This is crazy. I think i've never spent so much in my entire life in a month! ( okay. truth is i cant recall if i did. ) I should just shoot myself.

My bro Leon's at butter factory. I just knew it! Shit. i wanted to go over too! But i cant..
Instilling thoughts in my own mind: '' good girl... good girl.. Just stay home. Party days will soon be back. '' Talking of partying.. tomorrow's a good day! Aiya. Maybe not. Dilemma. Shit. I should use a big gun and shoot myself in the head, again.

I'm excited bout my new M.A.C lipstick, in Bare. Its really ' nude-ish' and nice. Every woman needs to own a nude lipstick! =) Its sweet, its sexy, its sophisticated. To sum it all, its versatile:))

I'm sleepy. But i'm keeping myself awake so i can phone bx after his work. I miss him now. And i think i shall call him and disrupt his work. Sounds like a plan huh. Wahaha.

Oh, i almost forgot. School is on next monday. I HATE IT!




Good night. Good bye. See you all again.